Blank Pages

Suddenly I had something to say. A sudden bright spark of personal insight needing articulation. Turned on the tablet, put fingers to the keys and suddenly nothing. The insight garbled, the something involved time travel, looking back at the last decade of my life through the lense of the last two months, and being too busy to put anything down.

Charles Yu’s How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe was the perfect book for the last two weeks. I had started the book a couple years back but put it down finding it too slow, too introspective for a guy in the middle of graduate school. At 26, I only looked forward, imagining all the future had in store for me. Soon I would earn my librarian’s cardigan and would be helping the world with their information needs.

Last few months not so much. At 31, I have become annoyingly introspective. Stuck, spinning my wheels, asking myself how much longer? This time, Charles Yu’s time travel metaphor resonated. The termporal paradoxes, time loops, whole universes made of grammar all spoke to me. Couldn’t put the story down til the end. Highly recommend it for any thirty year old science fiction nerds going through a third life crisis.

I can’t change the last decade of my life, it is what is. Would not be where I am, who I am, or have the opportunity to become what I will if not for before.

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