Went on vacation in Nashville, TN this weekend. Was an exciting time with plenty of emotion. But this door, slammed one morning will stick with me for a bit. I only wish I knew how to put feelings on the page. Maybe another day, eh?
As a young adult librarian, I facilitate an Otaku society. We don’t have many members, and those that we do have have shown no interest in creating Anime of their own. So advertisement of the group falls on me… Don’t worry… i’ll give it a couple weeks of practice before I put any image of my own on the fliers.
I’m going to fail at this. I know this. If you know me, you know this as well. I am not a doer. Producing is not my shtick. I am a thinker, an analyzer, a critiquer of the established. Show me a wall, i’ll find the cracks; Give me a platform, and i’ll tear it to shreds; give me reasons to, i’ll give you all the reasons not to.
While this contrarian perspective has given me no small amount of joy over the years, looking back I wonder if much of that time was wasted. What have I made? What have I written? What have I created?
So I will be endeavoring to create this year. I’ll explore the areas of my life that upon examination have been found lacking. I want to try my hand at building, making crappy art, writing horrid trashy short stories, and belting out songs off key. And I don’t want to stop when I fail, as surely I will. I want to push through the faillure at these aspects of my life I have parcelled off as “not who I am”